Years ago when I was till in college and the idea of marriage and kids was alien.. My best friend and I were having dinner at a restaurant... A family walked in with a little baby girl around two years of age and another kid around six or seven along with an ayya a nanny.
All thru the dinner pretty much the little baby was outside the restaurant playing with the ayya. The baby was being super adorable and super loving to the ayya while the mother was sitting in and having her meal. The ayya didn't even have anything, I'm guessing they fed her and then got her.
Now my friend and I had two extremely opposite reactions... While she thought having an ayya with your children all the time was absolutely fine I was completely against it.
Yes you need help with a baby in the house, washing the diapers and the clothes, collecting everything at the end of the day... A regular house maid seems to fit that bill...
But someone to burp your baby? Someone to put him to sleep? Someone to calm him down when he's crying? Someone to feed him? I don't think so....
Infant my mum once told me about how she saw this little baby hugging and kissing her ayya like she were her mother at a kids birthday party... It's a bit unhealthy a relationship i feel... Teaching your little one to treat everyone well and blurring their lines of family and people who are not family are two very different things.
Aadi always tells me not to judge women who have ayyas as bad mothers.. And I don't,well not necessarily... But I do feel like they are missing out on a lot.. And they are loosing out on a lot of bonding that takes place when you burp your baby after a feed.. Or when he calms down hearing your voice in the middle of some heavy duty bawling....
And for me the worst is and always will be bringing an ayya to a restaurant and making her stand at your table just in case the baby needs anything... I don't think I could ever do that....
I don't know... Somehow it just isn't for me I suppose... But to each their own....
Nice blog Alishka! I feel the same btw! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks amisha :)
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