Tuesday, 30 April 2013

Telling Family And Friends....

Not that either my hubby and I are superstitious... But something about having a baby, and maybe because of the last mishap, we were a little bit on the back foot about telling anyone apart from the immediate family....

Once the first three months passed and I was doing better (I was so unwell I had lost about 6 kilos during that time... Which I will find later I am glad about!!!!) and we were planning on my going and staying with my mommy for three months that we decided to start telling close friends...

Some who are super close and I just couldn't wait I had to call and tell... Not so much fun... Others I went to Bombay and just surprised with my belly!!!! Now that was fun!!!

Happy news is so much fun to share.... Ha ha... But no really... Most of our friends were so surprised that my hubby and I were pregnant... We were one of the last few people they would have expected to be having a baby... We're kids ourselves still!!!

You truly realise how much your friends mean to you and how much you mean to them at moments like these... Some friends we hadn't met for years came by to meet up on hearing the news others who we are close to but didn't realise how much had tears of happiness when we told them and it was so touching....

I can't now wait for my little munchkin to meet all of them soon :)

Saturday, 27 April 2013

Heart Beat!

So I had a miscarriage in march... It was a bloated ovum... Which basically means there are all signs of a pregnancy but there is no baby... No heartbeat nothing...it was something that tore my heart out when it happened..... but now that I have come to terms with it.... I never want to talk about it.....

But because of that experience, this time till I could hear a heart beat I was on the edge...

On the 23rd of july we had the first sonography and no one was allowed inside...

I was trying to be all relaxed about it but my nerves were giving way! I could feel a knot in my tummy.... and the anticipation was driving me crazy....

At first the doctor tried showing me the little dot which was the baby, but I couldn't understand it at all.... and I was getting more and more agitated....

So finally he  made me hear that beautiful sound... That super fast heartbeat I started crying!!! Didn't even realize I was crying.. The tears just kept rolling down!

If you think falling in love is magical... Getting your dream job is magical.... You're wrong... There is nothing more magical in the world than hearing the sound of your little ones heart beat while he or she is in you...

The true miracle of life........

Thursday, 25 April 2013

Second Love!

When I met aadi... When I saw him for the very first time I wouldn't say I fell in "love"... But I was madly attracted and intrigued by him... It took several weeks... Many conversations many kisses for me to fall head over heels "in love" with him....

I knew the very instant I fell in love with him even.... We were travelling back from a movie in an auto (our only mode of transport back then!!) and suddenly he gave me this hug... This warm beautiful perfect hug... Where every part of your body seems to just come alive with that touch.... And he said "you're protected"

That was it... I was in love!

But this time, with this little tot... It took one second... The nurse put him next to me in the hospital bed and I was shocked at the depth of love I felt in that instant... It was truly one of those breath taking moments.

So small so tiny so fragile and so all mine.... And aadi's!!!!

I never knew I could feel that much love for anyone else after aadi... But I did... I do... I always will...

Tuesday, 23 April 2013

The First Three Months...

So once I got my "positive" result... I just has to tell my husband!

I had always imagined I would surprise him with the news.... make a big deal out of it.... like I had seen in Full House, when Becky gets preggie she makes Jessie a meal of baby potatoes, baby corn etc... i thought I would do that.... but since both of us had been waiting for this result for a long time I just told him straight up!!!!!

Aadi has always been commitment phobic... First marriage scared him then the thought of a baby (now of two babies!!!) but once he warms up to an idea, which took me a year to do!!, he was so so so happy!!!!

The second person to know was of course my gynac... She is like a school principal... Tough and nice all at the same time....

Coming home from her visit... We told the family... The happiness of having a new addition in the family is incomparable...

Of course up until now I was running around in Amritsar but as soon as I was confirmed preggie... I was suddenly throwing up!!!

Because of a rather annoying blood clotting situation i was on bed rest for the first three months and had to take an injection a day till the last week of my pregnancy :(

I am sooooo petrified of injections... I thought taking one a day for 8-9 months would rid me of my fear.... No such luck!!!!!

Well so in the first three months came my iconic 30th birthday... Which was good because I was dreading turning 30... This way it literally came and went!!! But the best part was my mum and brother came visiting... And along with the hubby they bought me my first sewing machine... How exciting!!!!

Hardly have I used it... But soon... I have big plans!!!!

Friday, 19 April 2013

Sleep deprived!

Sleep deprivation and new born baby are synonymous !!!!!!

"Have a baby they're so cute! They really change ur life" they said " sleep all thru your pregnancy it's the last sleep you'll ever get" also they said.

But I kept thinking how sleep deprived could I really get?

Hmmmm apparently to the point where you actually feel, look and act like a zombie!!!

This little tot of mine at nearly two months keeps me fully on my toes at night. Not that he's up all thru the night and not that every night he's fooling around... But sleeping even four to five hours spread out thru the night for well almost 45 nights can drive you absolutely insane!!!

And no amount of afternoon "naps" will make you feel like you've caught up on your sleep... Frankly I don't think it's at all possible to ever "catch up" on your sleep... Not till the kid goes away to college!!!!

Hmmmmm makes boarding schools sound kinda nice.... !!

And what's worse is (a) I'm not a morning person... So maybe this is good since I'm up all night there is no morning as such it's all one long night!!!

And (b) I used to be one of those who could sleep till twelve one in the afternoon... Not anymore.. Now I just sleep any odd hour of the day I can get... I have actually slept at 10:30 in the morning because the baby is asleep!!! It is officially the oddest thing I have done!!!

Intact when my husband talks of going on vacations all I can think is "ahhhh hotel room beds.. Ac... No reason to get out of that bed!!!!"

So yeah I guess when people tell you to sleep and enjoy your sleep during your pregnancy take it seriously!!!

And also I have realised that taking it positively that you will be waking in the night is important... Being grumpy and feeding your baby and rocking him to sleep is no good... He needs to feel loved even then... Even at the point where you feel like punching a wall because you're so sleepy... You still need to give your baby lots of love and warmth.... It's easy....

After all......

They are soooooo cute!!!

Monday, 15 April 2013

The Blessing!

Marrying a Sikh, visiting the Golden Temple in Amritsar, seemed the most obvious thing. But for some reason or another, from its too hot it's too cold, we can't take off from work just yet... It took me three and a half years post marriage to visit.

I believe that there is always a calling from a place of worship. You go when you need it the most. And it calls you when you need it the most too.

So on the 9th of July the whole family and a few family friends took a train to Amritsar from Jaipur.

Amritsar is a typical Punjab town. Quaint and almost village like. The little shops selling jutis and suits and bangles... Really felt like a tourist!!

 And the food... Don't get me started on the food..... Wow!!! The parathas and the chicken and even the daal tastes like something else. The masalas they use... The amount of ghee in everything... Hmmmm!!!

The other thing we wanted to do in Amritsar and I recommend most people should do is the Wagah Border. One of the few borders between Pakistan and India where there is a guard change ritual that takes place every evening.

It was crowded as hell. Full of villagers from everywhere!!!!! Free tourist spot... What do you expect!!!! But no really, massive crowd. Once we got some space to sit after a lot of pushing and fighting!!!

The show began.

At first they let girls hold these huge Indian flags and run to the border line, while girls from the Pakistan side do the same! God alone knows what got into me, maybe my patriotic sensibilities!!! But I went down for the run... Thankfully by the time I made up my mind to go down and run I had time only for a photograph with the flag!!! (yes... me and running don't usually get along!!!!!)

Then they played every filmy patriotic song that there is and all the girls and women from literally all over the country and a few foreigners too danced for like the longest time... Me included!!! I had such a blast... It was so not me that I think I enjoyed it more! Usually I would have been sitting in a corner complaining about the crowd and the heat... But for some reason I decided to just let go!!!

The actual ceremony of the guards was very cool. Watching our soldiers perform against the opposing ones.... it gives you goosebumps.... a certain thrill..... I loved it!!!! damn near had tears in my eyes..... OK fine I had tears in my eyes!!!

Lucky for us, our hotel was literally a two minute walk from the temple. So we could go visit as many times as we wanted to.

The first sight of the temple is mind blowing......something you can't ever forget.

The beautiful white marble structure with the golden top, the lake with huge fish in it...


The silence and yet the crowds.... As opposed to most places of worship, this one was devoid of people pushing you to get to the end of the line and rushing you to finish praying before you've even begun.

You could take your time walking around the temple and inside, praying. It was one of the most serene experiences I've ever had.

But the best was yet to come....

Visiting the temple at 3:00 in the morning. That's when they carry the Guru Granth Saheb from one room into the main temple. Before which they wash the whole temple with milk.

So it was here at this peaceful time at night that we were taking a walk around the main temple, when for some reason I just wanted to sit there. Again this is very unusual for me since I'm not a very religious person, but I had been praying for a baby for a while now, and something made me just sit there because I knew right there that it had happened.

I didn't calculate my dates or any such thing, but instinctively I just knew.... And I wanted to sit there and say thanks.

I didn't tell anyone, not even my husband. I wanted to be sure.. A hundred percent sure...This was something too special... too personal and I wanted it too bad to take the chance of telling without knowing for sure!

 So I said thanks for my blessings and left.

The train ride home I was all in flutters....from  being extra careful with climbing up to the last bed and eating very little of the super tasty but masala laden food!

We reached home at 6:00 in the morning of the 13th and  I couldn't wait to take the test. Luckily I had a home test... that 5 minute wait is probably the longest wait in the whole world.... but that result was well worth the wait....


Sunday, 14 April 2013

Introducing little aadi ali!!

Having a little munchkin can completely change your life.

I didn't know that till I had one... I don't think anyone can understand the extent to which life can change for you till you actually have one. And I don't mean the usual "oh we can't go party any more  or "oh I'm just not getting enough sleep any more"


I mean in the way that you're every waking hour is filled with thoughts of the little one.

When you eat, sleep anything he is on your mind 24/7!!!

It's just such a big responsibility, having a little person's entire life in your hands.... everything you decide for him today will shape his personality... what you teach him to be will be who he becomes.... now with that responsibility how can there not be a change in your life.

You will be a better person.... you will make smarter decisions, you will do everything you can which is good and right so that he learns to be good and right.

And that's the change I'm talking about.

Aadi and I have been two carefree reckless sunshiney kids our entire lives..... we never took on too much responsibilities even after we were married.... we made choices based on our childish desires and were absolutely impulsive in most of our decisions.....and we loved every minute of it.... of just being us.... not worrying really about the future or savings or anything that took away our fun!!

So for us, today, all the more we have had to make that change in us. We have had to grow up suddenly.... since we weren't the kids around any more.... the kid in our story was now ours.... our little son, our responsibility ours to teach and shape up!!

I started this new blog to keep track of our growth.... of our little baby's growth.... to see how we become from kids to people who can look after kids!!!!

because this little one is worth it all.... worth growing up for.....!!!