Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Bubbles burst....

So I didn't catch every gig...

I didn't drink myself silly...

I didn't go there lay on the grass and looked up at the sun when the sun was setting...

I didn't sleep till late in the morning....

I didn't do pre event  partying.....

I didnt do many of the things I had wanted to do... Or thought I would do. 

This trip, won't call it a vacation it really wasn't, was not exactly what I had in mind. 

What I had in mind was a vacation. A time to just put my feet up, let my hair down, feel... well responsibility - less. 

I live in a bubble world of my own I think sometimes. I imagine that there is nothing I can't do.. And then try and do everything even if it nearly damn kills me... And the end result is ... It kills me. 

Sid was to stay with my mum at my masi's place. They were to come for a day because my mum is a big music lover, but she decided to join us for two days of the festival which meant Sid would be there as well. 

While I wasn't prepared for but would never refuse. One thing I have learnt in the last two months is that he is my kid my responsibility, and I would never take anyone else for granted to look after him at the cost of what they want to do just so I can do what I want to do.
How ever it did left me with a eight month old at a festival. I was prepared to have them for one day.. And that day was great. Mum had fun, Sid had fun..I had fun.

But the second day was just tooooo exhausting. He wasn't as happy being there... It rained...  The banana I carried got squashed.... It was mad! 

I guess somewhere I was wrong. Maybe once you have a kid things do change. I so strongly wanted to believe that I could handle anything with Sid, that I could lead my life just the way I wanted to without stressing out... But I was stressed. By the last day night, I was stressed. 

Pushing his pram on the gravel, constantly sticking cotton in his ears, making sure he was eating on time, drinking lots of water, keeping him away from speakers and smokers....driving to the venue getting on the shuttle, baby bags and pram included, tough tough tough. 

But in the monkey's defence he is just the sweetest baby ever. Calm and happy.... Not once did he cry out, not once did he get angry. He slept in the pram one day and in the baby jacket another. He danced with me on my favorite Raghu dixit song... Passed out to dualist inquiry!! 

But nope... Don't think I could do it again. But what's the alternative.. I don't want to leave him with anyone... Because tomorrow I never want anyone to tell me "oh you're out partying while your child is with us" and if taking him is so exhausting... I guess it does mean we miss out on these things till he's grown up a bit. 

I guess my bubbles burst. 

No comments:

Post a Comment