I've started work... But the reason things have been difficult isn't because I don't have the time... It's because of the emotional roller coaster I have found myself on.
So deciding to work in itself was a process and a half. I always knew I would want to work post the baby... But I hadn't thought about how soon I would want to get back.
Not negatively, but Jaipur being a slightly slower town, I always had a lot of time on my hands here, even post the baby with so much support from home, I seemed to have enough time to do things. So rather than just blogging (!!!!!) I decided that Sid being six months was a good age for me to start.
I know mums who started work when their bumlings were just three months old, so six months was easy for me to convince myself!!
So I started off in great spirits all positive and looking forward to some good ol' hard work... Aadi and I lined up a bunch of meetings with people, Mom and Dad were only too happy to have bumling to themselves!!
Fever.. 99... 100....101...
Cranky restless and all in all irritated... He wouldn't stay with anyone, wanted me to feed him, would stop crying only when I took him in my arms...
Now while these are great emotional boosters for a new mom... It can be quite another emotional downer for someone who is working...
And not because being with him was taking up my work time, nope it was just mentally exhausting...
Not only did I have an event planned for which I had to personally call fifty women I had to handmake thirty cards, but I was just so so so worried about Sid.
First illnesses are always stressful I'm sure. Seeing your baby, your little life, not smiling but being all grumpy and pouty is tough.
We took him to his doc, got some medicines. The fever went down for a day and a half, everyone was relieved, and then it came back with a vengeance.
Our usual peadiatrician was out, we called every other doctor we knew. They all said to wait it out. But how....?
Also, while he had started sleeping thru the night these days,now he was waking up often and that too slightly cranky... Oh God!!
When we finally saw another doctor, who turned out to be aadis's peadiatrician, he told us to take a test for dengue.
That was it.... That blood test was just the worst thing in the world. Sid had knocked off just before they got the needle, and I tried waking him before they could prick up, but you know how these guys are... They are pricking ten people every twenty minutes, they had no time to be concerned...
I damn near cried hearing him wail... Poor Aadi, I think he was about to punch the guy with the needle after a point...
The test was negative,but it was seriously the most difficult five days I have been thru.
I know virals are in the air, fevers come and go.. Colds and coughs are common... But when you're little tiny lifeline has it.. It becomes an end of the world drama!!!
He's better now...he got better literally the day after the test!!! The funniest would be that he would be super cranky at home, but in front of the doctors he kept smiling and laughing... I'm sure the docs thought Aadi and I were one of those super paranoid parents!!
But I guess all new parents are super paranoid right?