Working with a baby with family support... Still tough.
Some things just have to be you... When he is super sleepy but refuses to sleep... Seriously only a mom's arms and soft whispering can knock him out...
When he has to eat his solids but is throwing a fit, only a mum can be firm and yet gentle at the same time.
Sometimes I come back from a long day at work and he looks at me.. Takes a second or two to register and then out come the pout and frown combo... The deadly "where have you been" eyes that just melt your heart and make you feel oh so so guilty.
Sometimes I need to finish a presentation and all he wants to do is roll around in bed with me... He won't play on his own he won't eat and sleep. And if he is sleepy, he will fight it till the very very end.. Which usually ends my work time as well!
Sometimes I just get so tired... Because work isn't really all on a roll, things are still picking up and I need to spread the word around, you know "need one to show the others" kind of a thing... How I sometimes regret not being serious about what I love so much.... Being a free spirited "I can do everything girl" sure has made a couple of dents in the work graph....
I want to work... As much for myself as to have Sid understand work ethics, understand that it's not just daddy who works but mommy too. That every day has to be disciplined and planned.
But planning a day is not easy at all. Something or another will come up... A doctors appointment, the maalishwalli will be late and the whole morning will go for a toss, or some days when there isn't much to do but you know you have to do something (if you know what I mean?!!!) and he looks at you with that super cute face, and you have to be strong enough to say" no I have to work!"
Also how much can you expect your in laws to do? I mean mine are great, they have him from morning eight till afternoon around three... Which gives me plenty of time to work, till that massive guilt takes over me...
"What must they think of me... Leaving my little baby all day?" ( which actually they never say but my over imaginative mind is enough to make me feel horrible!!)
And there goes my day in trying to spend time with Sid in the middle if work because I have felt guilty.
Guilt is seriously one the the most stupid emotions.
Tough tough tough!!!! But I guess I just have to push through it. The initial phase is tough, once work becomes constant maybe things will be easier... Fingers crossed!!!