Myth busting

So the funniest part of a pregnancy is listening to old wives tales... For some reason while you are pregnant every old aunt thinks its her god given right or duty to fill your head with nonsense!!!! 

Some of the stuff I heard myself and some that I got from all my new mommy friends were just too priceless so I am sharing it with you..

While its in no real order of crazy to craziest or anything... The first one is just my absolute favorite!!!

Wearing under garments will flatten the baby's face and features!!!! Right........ So  thru all those layers and layers of fat your thin cotton panties are going to "flatten" none the less, your baby's face!!!

If your belly itches it means your baby has hair on his head!! (No matter your dry skin or stretch marks having anything to do with it!!!) 

Going out during an eclipse will deform your baby so carry a knife with you to counter it!!

Eating a rasgulla a day will make your baby fair... Science and DNA be damned!!! 

This is for during and after deliveries:

Eating oil or ghee will make your baby slide out 

If your hair is in a plait undo it during delivery and your delivery will be painless!!! 

Don't have curd while you are breast feeding it will curdle your milk!!!

So while I was doing my bit of research in this a friend told me that only silly Indian women can come up with these things... And that abroad no one must be so dumb to believe these things.. Well I found out that they are!!!! 

Putting your hands over your head will entangle your baby in its umbilical cord!! 

Drink lots of water while you are pregnant or your baby will either get dirty in the sac or will come out dirty!!!! Yes I have actually read this one!!!!

If you stay mad at someone while pregnant your baby will look like that person!!!!!!! Hmmmm.... My baby boy looks like his dad... ;)

And of course to determine the sex of the child the myths are just hilarious!!!

If you look tired and drained you're having a girl as a girl will rob you of your good looks!!!!!!!! 

If you are moody and cranky you are having a girl as you have an extra girls hormones (which apparently are sullen) and you will be happy and cheerful if you have a boy (whaaaaaat!!!!!)

And lastly if you like salty spicy food it's a boy and sweet stuff you are having a girl... Now this last one might just be true since all thru my pregnancy, more or less, I craved yummy spicy foods and here is my little boy!!!!

Boy or a Girl?!!!

Knowing if its a boy or a girl can make so many decisions easier... The clothes, the colors of the bedding, the colors of the tub an towels but most importantly the name...!!!

Everyone told us we needed to have a name with each alphabet for a boy AND for a girl ready so depending on the stars and such we would have to name the baby... 

Absolutely ridiculous!!!!! 

I mean, yes I know a lot of people believe in this, but luckily for us neither aadi nor I believed in it. 

We decided we would pick one boys name and one girls name and that would be that. 

We asked family for options but finally just came down to it ourselves! 

Of course left to the hubby and my brother our son would have been Achilles and my brothers son would have been Hector!!!!!

So like most new parents we wanted something different for our kid.. So we went online on baby name websites. When that didn't help we went thru all our friends facebook friends lists to find something nice but came up with nothing!

Now the funny thing was I always wanted to name my son Siddhant, it was the name of my little nephew who had passed away, my mums brothers son. But I hadn't told anyone. 

When I finally did tell aadi, he told me that his mum had always wanted to name him Siddhant!!!! Can u believe the coincidence!!!! 

She wanted to name his brother Sidharth and him Siddhant but because granny couldn't pronounce the name they became Nitin Vipin!!!! 

So it just seemed like, well, the stars had spoken!!! And Siddhant it was for a boy!!

We did pick a girls name... But I ain't telling... Hopefully in another two years ill be writing another blogpost about her!!!

Designing the nursery

Being a pinterest addict... I had rounded up a bazillion baby nursery pictures by the time I was in my fourth month... And most often it's considered bad luck to buy anything for the baby well usually till the 9th month but preferably till the baby is born...

So here I was with, like I said, a bazillion pictures and I couldn't buy anything :( it was horrible...

1 2 3 4 

But then a friend was coming from Greece... And she said she had seen some really adorable baby stuff could she get some? And my mum said "ya sure"

Green signal for baby shopping!!!!

Also since I was having a baby shower in Bombay and all my friends wanted to get me something for the baby... It didn't seem right to say no ;) ha ha ha!!! 

So I got a lot of baby gifts... But the nursery was still something I had to figure out. 

Once I was back in jaipur I insisted on getting the whole thing done before the baby... I just couldn't understand how I was supposed to arrange everything once the baby was here...

So my super sweet parents in law took me shopping!!! And we got everything... The cot, mattress, a full set with bolsters quilts sheets and a bumper, a few pillows, a new cabinet plus changing station for the baby... Everything nice and white just the way the hubby and I like it!! 

I put up all the gifts my friends gave me... 

And a small little sewing frame made by me... This was the only thing I put thinking it may be a girl!!! Rest all was done in white even though I was pretty sure it was a boy!!

It's no fancy prancy nursery, it's simple and sweet and in my room.... Heck I didn't even use the cot up until now.. The  end of the third month!! 

I would have loved to do a lot more in terms of the designing but I'm really happy with it... 

Also having everything all set up felt good... Looking at all the baby stuff in the room in the last few days was such fun... Imagining the little tot on his or her bed, playing with the toys!!! 

And now here he is happily sleeping in his very own bed!!! 

The delivery

So all thru my pregnancy I was kinda dreading the delivery... I guess most women must...

Yes yes I know it's such a beautiful experience.. The first as a mother and all such.. But get real... The very thought that something that big can come out of something that small... It's just mind-numbing!!!!! 

So when my doc said I would be having a c section I should have been ecstatic but I was freaked.... Freaked because she gave me a date like two weeks later!!!! 

Because the injections I was on all thru the pregnancy had to be stopped, she wanted to get a healthy baby out asap post that.... 

From the moment I left her clinic my mouth just stayed open in disbelief... I had a date of a month later... And now suddenly I was going to have this little baby of mine like NOW!!!! 

Was I ready to even be a mom??? Had I read everything I could?? Would I know how to hold the little one?!!

Nothing made sense the whole day... By the next day I had called every mommy friend of mine pretty much and learned that for some reason or another they had all ended up with c secs... They all calmed me down and said it was a good thing...

And it was... After the initial shock... I realised that now that I had a date I was so much more comfortable... No filmy style rushing to the hospital screaming "my water broke!!" No anxiety of when the time will come... And no labor pains!!!!! 

But still the night before the operation in the hospital I just couldn't sleep... I had the craziest bunch of butterflies in my tummy all dancing to different tunes!!!! 

While I had decided on a partial anaesthesia ... Lying on the operation table looking at all those crazy machines and doctors all around me I freaked out.... 

I figured I'd much rather see the little kitten peacefully as opposed to seeing my tummy being sliced open!!!!! 

So general anaesthesia it was... I was beautifully knocked out... With thoughts only of my little baby... Boy....girl.... I still didn't know!!!!!

Post Partum Depression

Post partum depression is a reality and anyone who tries to tell you other wise is lying.

It can hit the very next day a few weeks later or even randomly some day two or three months later.

However it really isn't anything else but an extremely overwhelming feeling. You feel like everything is just too much... 

The baby,the fact that you are now responsible for another person, that a little child is going to look up to you for every little thing he needs.... 

Your body and what has happened to it will do it for you... The change in your size your skin your hair your swollen feet... Not fitting in older clothes ( even though you may be smart enough to understand its normal there will be days when you will try on that pair of jeans and curse everyone that day when it just doesn't zip up!!! )... Standing in front of a mirror and just not recognising yourself...

It can get to a point even when every little voice every little sound everything will start getting on your nerves... Seeing people around you happy and smiling and free will piss you off beyond belief.. And then you'll feel super guilty and drive yourself even more crazy...

So stop... When you feel an onset of one of those roller coaster rides... Stop... Leave the room... Cry... It helps immensely... Listen to music don't talk to anyone if you don't feel like it you will only start a fight... Take deep breaths and tell yourself that this is only normal... 

Having a baby while it is the most wondrous moment of your life.. It is also the most life altering moment... Physically emotionally you are coping with way too many things for you to not break down once in a while... But just try and be aware of these emotions... It helps to know.. It's easier to fix for you for your husband... And trust me its way way better for you to  be with your baby once you have understood where these feelings are coming from... 

Just learn to deal with these emotions when they come.. Do t try to suppress them like some super mom... And trust me you will get over them... They are natural and more often than not short termed... 

So smile!!! 

Baby Showers VS Godh Bharais

My memory of a godh bharai was a cousins I had gone to when I was 15... It was soooooooo boring!!! The poor preggie girl in her saree and heavy jewellery sitting in the middle of the room with all these aunties hovering around her  stuffing her palu with coconuts and what not..... It just wasn't a pretty sight... But that was from the eyes of a 15 year old forces by her mother to "come see at least!!!"

Also there are so many different customs on each religion... So the maharahstrians take a stone grinder wrapped in fabric and pass it over a crib a couple of times after which the mother kicks the crib!!!! Or so my mother told me she did at her function! 

In the Sikhs they feed (of course) a dish made if sweet rice.. So all the aunties (which are A LOT) come and feed the preggie girl one bite of the sweet rice and whisper a advice or good wish on her ear.... 

On the other hand baby showers are fun relaxed parties!!! Being a crafty Pinterest girl I have always loved the idea of baby showers and yet I attended my first one almost a year before mine... 

So the lucky bum that I am I had both versions... My mum and brother with friends threw me a Mexican baby shower!! 

It was on our terrace, mum had made some super fantastic burritos and salsa and nachos all at home!! My brother and hubby mixed some mad drinks together and made a cocktail which I of course didn't get a chance to taste!! 

My friends organised the decorations and  games which were a blast!!!! 

Soooo many people came to wish me it was really heart warming... My friends my mums friends friends from our building... Old new close all sorts of friends!!!  

And they all gave such wonderful gifts!!!

It was really one of those nights I won't forget!! 

And back in jaipur my mum on law threw me a traditional godh bharai...  I got to dress up in a pretty suit (the only one that fit me!!!) and had all our friends come by... And yes it was the typical Sikh rituals of feeding me the sweet rice... How ever I made sure everyone gave me really small bites!!!!! 

But we also played a fun variation of housie... So with two pages we had nine lines which corresponded to nine months and one full house was for a boy the other for a girl and so on... It was super fun.. I even won!!! Ha ha!!! 

And Ma had set up a fantastic high tea spread with some yummy sandwiches and gulab jamuns!!! 

And the best part was my baby and I made lots and lots of money!!! Ha ha!!! 

So traditional or non traditional I had  fantastic pre baby parties!!!

To ayya or not to ayya...

Years ago when I was till in college and the idea of marriage and kids was alien.. My best friend and I were having dinner at a restaurant... A family walked in with a little baby girl around two years of age and another kid around six or seven along with an ayya a nanny.

All thru the dinner pretty much the little baby was outside the restaurant playing with the ayya. The baby was being super adorable and super loving to the ayya while the mother was sitting in and having her meal. The ayya didn't even have anything, I'm guessing they fed her and then got her. 

Now my friend and I had two extremely opposite reactions... While she thought having an ayya with your children all the time was absolutely fine I was completely against it. 

Yes you need help with a baby in the house, washing the diapers and the clothes, collecting everything at the end of the day... A regular house maid seems to fit that bill...

But someone to burp your baby? Someone to put him to sleep? Someone to calm him down when he's crying? Someone to feed him?  I don't think so....

Infant my mum once told me about how she saw this little baby hugging and kissing her ayya like she were her mother at a kids birthday party... It's a bit unhealthy a relationship i feel... Teaching  your little one to treat everyone well and blurring their lines of family and people who are not family are two very different things.

Aadi always tells me not to judge women who have ayyas as bad mothers.. And I don't,well not necessarily... But I do feel like they are missing out on a lot.. And they are loosing out on a lot of bonding that takes place when you burp your baby after a feed.. Or when he calms down hearing your voice in the middle of some heavy duty bawling.... 

And for me the worst is and always will be bringing an ayya to a restaurant and making her stand at your table just in case the baby needs anything...  I don't think I could ever do that....

I don't know... Somehow it just isn't for me I suppose... But to each their own....