Getting pushed...

So last night Aadi walked in on me crying while Sid was climbing all over me trying to get to the tv remote.... 

he asked me what's wrong.. And I said ' I'm so exhausted and he just won't eat his food and go to sleep' 

And he found me really amusing...!

But was it?

Not really.. And not always.. The Jaipur cold has a way of entering my system and settling itself inside such that I'm always cold... To top that I'm not particularly happy being in the city where I don't have any friends or places to go to... To add to that I'm very confused about my work and what to do with that and the cherry on top is that Sid has lost his appetite and still is super duper hyper ALL the time...

He is constantly on the move now... Wants to play non stop.... wants to climb over me... Walk on my stomach... Pull my hair... Elbow my rib cage.... He has a terrible case of ADD with his toys.. Insists on playing with my tv remotes while I'm watching tv... And this new thing about not wanting to eat anything... It has a way if driving me up the wall!!

Seriously... For the last few days meal times have lasted upto 45 minutes with me wanting to pull my own hair out... I've distracted him with toys, plastic bowls, spoons, the tv.. The dog.. The phone... Songs.. Videos.. Sometime upto three people sit around him getting him to eat.. And he still fights very bite......

]#%*]!{${*£]

Last night I just lost it... He hadn't had a single proper meal... Has slept for only an hour and a half in the whole day... Had played like a crazy minion.... Was screaming and shouting at everyone...he fought me for every meal I gave him...but by the end of the evening I was so sure that he would knock out with his milk meal... So I took him to our room and tried feeding him... 

But No! 

He was up and about again... And Aadi was down having his dinner...So it was just the two of us... And I was exhausted and he kept moving all over the bed.. From the tv remote on one side table to the phone charger on the other side table to leaning over the bed to play with the drawer handle... 

Nonstop

At one point I just held his sweater while he tried climbing over me to get to the remote while poking his little elbow into my tummy and that's when I just lost it.

Before I even realized what was happening I was crying! My body had no energy to hold onto him... My arms ached from picking him up... And making him sit... All I wanted was to lie in bed and blog or read my book.. Or zone out.....Yet here I was holding onto this little bumling who was full of some mad adrenaline.... 

And there came Aadi... For a second he was just shocked, poor thing!!! But luckily he didn't ask too many questions and just took Sid off of me... And I lay back... And stopped crying!!! 

Somedays are mad like that... When too many things come together and your mind and your body just feel like giving up... But you have to keep going with a big happy smile because you never want your baby to feel like you don't want to be with him... But in some deep space inside you, you actually would like some alone time.. But feel guilty about it :(

But like Aadi told me tonight... He said just tell me when you need me to take him... If you just can't take it and you feel pushed.. Let me know.. I'll happily look after him... But don't take it to that point where you're getting that upset....

And it's true.. The days you feel pushed, and you will, just hand him over to someone... You hubby, your parents, anyone... Take some time off.. It's ok... Trust me it's better than that poor little thing looking at you crying and being confused!!! 

The best part is when I cry Sid just laughs!!! He really is the perfect medicine to a bad day!!!