How we did it!

One of the biggest questions in everyone's mind is how did we do it? 

How did we vacation without the baby? 

Eight days people.. We took off for a full eight days.. Just the two of us... Without a care in the world... 

And the only way we could do that was because ---- here it is--- pay close attention now--- because of our parents! 

Yup..!! 

Like I have always said... If you want to have a baby .. Make sure you have your parents around and make sure they are happy with you!!!!  

Ha ha ha ha!! 

No, but seriously... 

It is the only way you can ever consider doing this.. Taking time off.. Vacationing just like before... something we always tell people who want to become parents right? "oh things will never be like before" ummm... they can be!

Now a days I think, because of that " we are independent individuals" and the whole " please ma you have no idea how to look after a baby anymore" " my way is the best way" thought process we end up alienating our parents from our kids.. 

It's terrible... 

Kids need grandparents... they will  experience a kind of love that's just beyond compare... And trust me, grandparents need their grand kids... It makes them younger and happier like nothing else can...

I have known this little secret from day one.. If you nurture this relationship.. You will always get time off... Stress free!!! 

I know that these nannies and nurses are all very competent and very in sync with the new age parenting methods... and I'm not taking away from the couples who don't have a choice... maybe their parents live in other cities or worse other countries.. or are too old to help... but in general I would personally pick a grandparent to look after the pudding than a nurse or a nanny. 

That would be stress free for me... because as many indulgences they might entertain... I know that they will always have the kids best interest... and no one else could possibly love your kid as much.... and for me that is most important...  

So even if you're parents stay away from you.. go visit them often or have them over often... let the kids know them... if they are out of town too... make sure summer diwali winter any kind of vacation the kids should want to go visit them.... 

I remember my childhood... weekends were always at my nana nani's home with my cousins...where we would go the beach or spend nights playings cards... and bigger vacations meant going to pune to my granny's place with cousins from the other side... we stayed in a very quiet part of pune where we could run around with no  worry in the world and ate mangoes like they were getting over!!! and trust me i wouldn't exchange that for any other kind of childhood... the memories and relationships I built then... incredible!

and what did my parents do while I was out enjoying my childhood... they probably chilled like never before!!!

So thats how i did it... I made him fall madly in love with my mum and aadi's parents... and then I ran away to London with my boyfriend/husband/father of my son and had a blast!! 

We walked around hand in hand, danced all night (well at least till the last train left the city to get to Langley!!) shopped peacefully, lounged in hyde park... drank for most part of the day, chatted away.... and all the while not one real thought about "is he ok... is he missing us? " nothing. 

Thats doesn't mean we didn't miss him.. we missed him incredibly once a day.. and usually when we saw some adorable boy running around or another... but no worry.

And he was good too... he was with people he loved in jaipur... meeting more people (cousins of ours came to visit him in jaipur) who would love him and make him the center of attraction, just how he likes it... and for the three days he was in bombay with mum, his darling mamu and mami came visiting... then he visited them and his little brother... So overall he was good!!

Hmmmmm ya, we can totally do this annually... next year maybe we can increase it to around 10-12 days... what do you think?!!!!

10 things about my 2.5 year old!

1. He's talking non stop now... Tells us stories even... What he did in school.. Who his friends are.. It's non stop chatter!! There are days he goes into gibberish still.. But I think he does it purposely..! He likes our reactions to his silliness! 

2. He's grown tall.. So tall ...  He's growing out of all his clothes... His pants are too short.. And shirts show his little tummy!! We've got many pairs of shoes he's only worn like twice or thrice.. 

3. He's pretty potty trained... Well atleast 85% which isn't too bad!! He's got his first set of undies.. Avenger ones.. With hulk and captain America!! He loves them!!! 

4. He has friends .. His school friends and his building friends.. He understands what the word friend means! He calls his building friends " my boys"!!!! And he fist bumps them all when he goes down to play... He also get upset when they don't give him much attention.. Well they are 8 and he is 2.5!!!! 

5. He has and displays feelings... Including tantrums!! He gets upset and happy and shy and shows all those emotions in such a grown up way... It's not all just various kinds of cries that you try to decipher... It's actual words and feelings and emotions.. And he has quite a wide spectrum for a toddler! 

6. He loves singing and dancing. Oh he loves it! Uptown funk with his dad.. Man that kid can dance .. I mean, ya its in his genes... But still .. The love for it is crazy! Any beat on TV any form of music and he starts dancing to it!!! There are evenings he will ask for his music on either of our phones and say " let's dance papa" and then the top will go around the house bouncing to it!!! 

7. He loves curd rice... South Indian he is  like his dadi! No, but really.. There are days he'll pick curd rice over anything .. Rotis, chicken, daal, pizza even!! I think it's his comfort food!

8. He sleeps on his own... Rolling around the bed till he passes out... The biggest blessing off life if i may say so myself! All I need to do is switch off the light and stop talking and next thing you know he's rolling on my tummy on my face all over the bed and then suddenly he isn't.. And I look at him and he's passed out! 

9. He plays quietly.. With his cars and his veggies.. You know this is such a great thing especially when you work from home.. Times when I need to focus and keep him busy.. I pull out his cars or plastic veggies and he sits quietly and plays... He'll talk to himself and his toys and sometimes come over to me with a plate of fried corn or coffee in a cup!! But otherwise he just does his own thing!! 

10. He knows what love is and expresses it! Somedays he will just come up to you and kiss you and hug you and make you feel like he most special person in the whole wide world!!!  It's incredible... How much love he feels for you.. He even crushed you with his hugs!!! And smashes your cheeks in with his kisses!!! It's adorable!! 

This age, this phase is probably my most favourite... Because he talks, he asks for things, he reacts, he over acts, he can do a lot on his own, but he still needs me... 

He's still young enough for me to bully him into kissing me and hugging me... But old enough to eat some meals on his own! 

He does and says the funniest of things and even though he understands everything.. He's still a little baby somewhere in there! 

It's a really fun and funny age.. And I hope it lasts for a little longer!!! 

Yes I am his 24/7

So someone recently asked me if now my 24/7 was my son...

Hmmmmmmmm

Wait let me think about that...

I was pregnant for nine months, had a baby who's only connection to this world is me (and his dad of course), he slept on me for three months, fed on milk coming out of my breasts when he was an infant, he pooped and peed on me, 

Even today he needs me to feed him, play with him, look after him.. Teach him, love him... 

When he cries he gets comforted in my arms... When he falls he calls out to me...

When he's sleepy he curls up to me...

I made him.. I got him into this world... He's a part of my husband and me... He's more than just my 'family' he's a culmination of our love for each other... 

And he's just two years old... He just about talks...just about manages to eat on his own... Has just about started making friends in school and in the building... 

He still can't bathe himself.. Can't change his clothes can't tie his shoelaces... He can't make his own food... He can't drive himself anywhere...  

There is a whole lot he still can't do... But he isn't my 24/7 I am his... 

And that's the things most people don't get about a mother... 

I have other things to do in my life... I work... I meet my friends... I have hobbies.. I go out with my husband.. I keep in touch with my family... I party ... I eat out.. I watch movies in theatres... I paint I draw I sketch I stitch, I cook somedays...I read I daydream... I am addicted to my TV and phone... 

I do everything most people do.. But to my son everyday 24/7 I am just his mum. 

I could be doing anything in the world, but when he needs me I am there for him..

But people, especially without kids, will never get this...

A woman who has a kid, and mostly one who isn't working at a 9-5 job or maybe even then, is only looked at as a mom, like its a bad thing.. Or more like, like its a menial thing.. A boring stay at home cleaning poop all the time thing. 

I can't wait for these guys to have kids. 

No rushing!

I remember reading this one post long back, about how a mum realised that she was just hurrying up her little kid all the time...

Rush rush rush in the morning... Rush back from school.. Rush at the super market.. Rush at the park... 

It was always about getting that one task over and done with... That was important..

We have a play date... Plan, get to it, play play play and get home in time for dinner.. 

Till one day she realised that while her kid was walking behind her slowly it was because she was looking at the clouds.. The reason she took time wearing her shoes was because she had noticed a little line of ants in the kitchen... 

Small things like that.. Things that are new to a kid.. Fun for them to observe.. But we give them no time to do..

Just because we are on a schedule we drag them along all day too...

But what if we just moved at their pace? Wouldn't that be nice? 

I thought of all this today because I realised I do this to siddy a lot... When I get him ready for school ... When I pick him up... I rush him to eat so hopefully he can catch a nap.... Once he's up I'm hurrying to feed him again so he can go down to play, lest the other boys get done playing and go home.... 

It's always about keeping up to the day's schedule... 

But today when I picked him up and we parked the car in the building, it was drizzling... And there were puddles all over the compound... 

And our little man started splashing...

My first instinct was to tell at him.. Because I had to rush up and feed him and change to go for a meeting... 

But then I saw him... He was smiling from cheek to cheek.. He was jus so thrilled... He ran around the whole compound looking for tiny puddles to splash in... 

He squealed with joy each time the water splashed on him...

By now his shoes and socks were both drenched .. I was sooooo late.... 

And then I get two calls telling me not to travel today since the rains were creating havoc across town... 

Floods, a fire and a collapsed wall ... 

And yet I smiled and continued watching the cutie have the time of his life!!! 

I guess things have a way to work out... You just have to enjoy your special moments.. And those really are the small ones... The ones that seem like they are nothing... But they are.. They are the ones that bring the biggest smiles to your face... 

It did for him... And for me!!!

Words you shouldn't use!

So careful you have to be with the bumling now... What ever you say...be prepared to hear him say it back... 

Also, as hilarious as it sounds coming from him... I have to be sure to not laugh about it too much... 

Here is why: 

Now, I'm essentially a person with very little patience.. And the one person who really pushes all limits of my patience is my maid... 

She will refuse to wring the wet clothes before hanging them to dry... She will refuse to put our shoes in the drawer.. She won't shift the center table to clean under it... No matter how many times I will tell her.. 

And so invariably, everyday i say this sentence to my mum " this stupid woman, again she hasn't done this and that" 

My mum doesn't care anymore.. But you know who's listening...! 

So the other day his toy cupboard wouldn't open... It's one of those glass doors with a magnet at the bottom.. You have to push it in to open it.. 

And he goes 

" this stupid tai has locked my cupboard" 

And he has this ridiculously adorable frown happening ... And he looks genuinely upset about this situation!!! 

Hmmmm... To laugh or not to laugh.. Oh I laughed!!!! 

And he said it again a bazillion times to get my reaction but I haven't called my maid a stupid since then!!!! 

Now while this was kinda ok... Because hey stupid isn't such a bad word but... f**k is! 

And I use it like a noun, verb, adjective, in between sentences.. Beginning of sentences end of sentences... Hello it's a versatile word ok! 

And in my defence I have started fudging it when i say it!!! 

But this one day... I decided to forever stop ( forever being a few days now) 

Aadi and I are watching TV and bumlings on the iPad... Suddenly something went wrong with the app he was watching and he goes " oh fuck... Oh shit! Oh fuck!" 

We have literally held our breaths so as to not laugh... And Aadi whispers to me " don't react ... Don't react baby.. Let this pass" 

And it did.. And we didn't laugh or shout or anything.. We just stared at the TV, didn't look at him even ... We just let it be. 

But oh my god!!!!!! 

Not only has he picked up the word.. He knows when to use it! Dammit! 

Luckily he hasn't used it since... And I think it's because we didn't react.. 

More often than not they do what they do to get a reaction from us... So when you don't say anything they think what they did was nothing, and so they won't repeat it... 

But don't be too sure... Parenting is one of those things where all tips and tricks change by the millisecond! 

Piece of my heart...

Aadi and I were out today for some work... It took more time than we had estimated... 

Siddy was with mum.. And he had had a cough and cold the last few days... But he was going to school happily so we were ok... 

When we left from bandra we messaged mum that we were on our way home like we always do.. No reply. 

Closer to home we get a call... Where are you, how long will you take? He's a bit off he's been crying. 

We drive a bit faster. 

Mum never calls unless it's something serious... 

In ten minutes she calls back... His ear is hurting get some drops... And he threw up a little..

Now we are worried... Ear hurting is not a good sign.. And throwing up with it is worse.. 

We called the doc ... He recommend an ibugesic... There is some at home so we rush now... All the painful autos come in our way... All the bottle necks are suddenly blocked... When you're in a rush you always get the slowest driver in front of you...

We get home.. Run up.. And there he is.. He sees us and and his chin starts quivering... Big tears are now rolling down his little cheeks and his arms are stretched out to me...

I take him and hug him.... And kiss him... He seems so small... Oh he's too small for this... He keeps pointing to his ear... 

We give him the ibugesic and he's quietened down a little... I take him in the room put on the ac... The heat is ridiculous .... 

Curl him up to me and sing him some songs.. Read him a Bruno book... And next thing I see his eyes are shutting... 

He's asleep...

Nothing in this world can wrench at your heart than your baby and his quivering chin... And nothing can make you feel better than knowing you're the one to make him feel comforted...

Something about being the person, whom, when he hugs, he forgets all his pain and feels happy and protected... It's a high.... It can make you feel like heaven.... 

To have that little baby stretch his arms towards you... Oh my god! 

Babies really are just a piece of your heart walking around you... They are the most vulnerable part of you... And when they get sick... You feel like hell.... Even a basic cold... When I can see him struggle to breathe... Or when he coughs so much that tears roll down his eyes... It's unbearable.... 

But he woke up better... He stayed in a zone for almost half an hour after he woke up... But then he was good.... 

He played and ate a little and had all his medicines... We put nose drops for the cold, Vicks too... 

He's sleeping next to me now... His soft breathing is calming me down...  

But oh god... He's too small... 

Change Of Plans!

I had a post called No Plan For Certain.... and well, this weekend has really been true to that!!

So a few weeks ago a very old friend of mine sent me an event invite on facebook about her story telling sessions... Usually bumling falls short on the age limit, but this time he was old enough for it... I got super excited, clicked on join, invited another friend so Siddy and I would have company, marked it on my phone, on my home paper calendar.... I was just so excited for it!

My friend and i even made post event dinner plans, I asked Aadi to pick us up from there post his work... called my maid earlier that day... everything was planned and ready...

Come the day, i pack his bag, get annoyed because he goes to sleep just fifteen minutes before the cab comes to get us, but well, i guess that means he will be fresh for the session... 

Now most people who know me, know my sense of timing is quite warped, I take traffic for granted and almost always have to be told a time fifteen to twenty minutes before to get anywhere in time.... in my defence... i blame the kid!!!

Anyway, this time i decide its going to be different.. This time i was planning it all in advance... The event time was 5:30 onwards... from my house to the venue is about 40 mins ... So i call for a cab around 4:25... may as well be early no?

Well... what i learnt yesterday was that no matter how much you plan, how much you think about... when things have to go wrong they will!

My cab came at 4:45... I reach my friends house... she's running late because just today her maid decided to be a duh... rather than packing her kiddo's bag and the dabbas, she wanted to wash the washing machine... which meant apart from dressing up her doll... she also had to pack her bag and everything...!

Finally we leave around 5:00... ok we got half an hour... maybe we'll miss about ten fifteen minutes... but hey... what starts on time in bombay anyway?!!

And of course, our cab driver takes the longer route... and on route the other pudding decides to do her "business'!!! do we stop and clean... do we get to the venue and clean? what to do?!!! the driver says we aren't to far... so we decide to wait a bit...

By now though both the kids are restless... we've been in the car for around 40 mins.... all four of us smashed in the back together... knees in our stomachs... elbows jabbing our necks... we need to get out!!

Now here is the worst part of the story... and the one where i admit to the awesomeness of having google maps, no matter how large an app it is, on your phone at all times.... which i didn't yesterday and hence... I simply took the name of the building.. Oberoi Splendor, assumed it must be near Oberoi School and Oberoi Mall... because hey... its an Oberoi building... and went in the opposite direction...

We reach Oberoi Woods, the building complex near the Oberoi School and Mall... and we think Oberoi Splendor must be just around the corner... On asking a guard we find out its a good 25 minutes away!!!!!!!

By now, we have our windows rolled down... and we (the two mothers that is) are hot and sweaty and irritated and frankly in no mood for a story... we simply need to clean our kids, and feed them!

So we can our plans, head to the mall... and after a few seconds of major disappointment , mainly on my part, we had a fantastic time at the mall!!

There was some live music and there was the forever 21 mad sale going on!! 

We gave the fresh kids a toy car each and a packet of chocos, the sweet lady at the store gave them small shopping bags and looked after them while we enjoyed a little retail therapy!

There really is nothing better than finding pretty stuff at ridiculous prices without having to stress about the kids! 

In fact the kids got so much attention from all the shoppers in the store... they were as much in heaven as we were!

Then we got them some healthy watermelon juice and some tasty very non healthy fries and chilled at the food court!!

Finally we took an auto ride home... which they both thoroughly enjoyed and headed to my friend's place for dinner... the kids were up till 12:30... which was fine because as fed up as we were of them, they were fed up of us and were so happy to have their dads now... that we got to sit by the window and enjoy our drinks!!

Some days really don't work out the way you want them too... especially with kiddos... but honestly if the night ends with friends and a great meal... and two puchkas dancing and singing till they literally fall off to sleep... then you've had a good day!!

Of course... somedays things don't end there... we had great weekend plans of going to Pune for our friend's daughter's fifth birthday... meeting my cousins who adore the monkey..... but in the middle of the night, his little sniffles turned into a full fledged cough, cold and slight fever.... we waited till about 9:00 in the morning hoping he would be better.... but nope... so here we are... at home watching the middle... while the little things sleeps next to us.... 

ah well.... heres to hoping this change of plan makes for a good weekend.... get better soon my pudding!!!