Wednesday, 25 December 2013

Kids to Parents to Kids...

I look at Sid some days and I can't even believe the love I feel for him.... Nothing and no one till date has made me feel such an intense mad crazy passionate love..... I feel like I could walk thru fire for him... I could come between a falling building and him.... I could.... Literally do anything for him....

It's a pure but not very simple love.... It's got layers and layer and layers of emotions intertwined in it! 

You want to protect him from everything... You want him to never get hurt… physically or emotionally… but on the other hand you want him to not always get everything so easy that he takes it for granted…

You want to teach him to be a good person… a nice guy… but not too nice that he gets pushed over… You want him to be strong and independent and yet you want to cushion his every fall….

Being a parent just makes you into mush!!!

You see your little baby and all you want is his full and complete attention… You want him to run to you in a crowd, you want to be the one to wipe his tears and make him smile… and if someone were to ask me ten years later, twenty years later, hell…. fifty years later would you feel just as much love for him… of course I would!!

He's my baby after all…. my little bundle of love!

So then it gets me to think… thats exactly how my mum must still feel about me today! How Aadi's dad must feel about him….

And how every time we fight with our parents and scream horrible stuff at them, tell them we don't love them, tell them they are mean and hateful parents…. now i realise how terrible it must sound and yet how easily they forgive us.

Because there is no way that I could ever want something bad for Sid, no way I would not worry about him when he comes late at night (when he does!!!!)…. he could be fifteen or twenty five or forty… but he would always be my baby!

I suppose the key is to find that balance or understanding at each stage in life… today a baby, tomorrow a teenager and then an adult…. but to still love them with that unconditional love and yet keep that distance of an understanding parent.

Its a tricky situation.

More often than not our parents, maybe because of the age gap or the more conservational up bringing they have had, find it more difficult to understand that while the kid is growing up they need to change their thinking pattern too…No twenty five year old guy is going to appreciate being treated like a thirteen year old boy and no eighteen year old girl is really going to listen to her mum!!! But what we kids forget as we grow older is that we were not just the most important things to our parents when we were little, we will always be forever.

I think its a never ending process…. our parents at some time outgrew their parents.. and fell in love with us…. but we outgrew them and fell in love with ours… who will eventually outgrow us!!

Its just good to be aware that this happens… and that its ok. The only way to deal with it that I think makes sense, is it to let it happen and not fight it. If you fight your kid…. he will leave… and today unfortunately its become so easy- get a job rent a flat with your friends and you are out.

And at the same time remember that you will out grow your parents… but that doesn't mean you just leave them… Can't stay with them? Get them a place next to yours… the next flat, the next building….. close enough for your kids to play with them and for the occasional lunches and dinners and if and when they feel unwell… but far enough to not fight over trivial things!!

Being a parent makes you a better child I think… it makes you appreciate your parents more… the things they did for you (still do!!!)… the good and the bad… and that just helps you be a better parent…. you try to not push your kid too much if you've been pushed or you won't molly coddle your kid if thats what your mum did to you!

So either ways… I think having a baby… continuing this circle of life…. makes you a better person!

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