Photo Love 11

So much like Aadi!

The day I saw my bumling in a 3D sonography... I saw that nose and I knew it was my nose! My pudgy pakoda nose!!!

But I had no idea how much like Aadi he would be! It's strange... Out of ten people nine will say that he is the splitting image of his dad, a carbon copy! 

And he is... The features at first glance are just identical... The same small lips, the eyes, the hair...!! 

It's so adorable! 

In fact Ma found a picture of Aadi as a baby, and he looked so much like Sid that when I sent it to mum and Akshai they were confused for a second!

in this picture especially he is little Sid.... don't you think?!!!

This one too... except maybe the forehead....

Here too he looks just like Sid.... its amazing the similarity!!!

However disappointed I may be (not!!!) that he doesn't look like me.... well I know he's going to grow up to be a really handsome boy!!! ha ha!!

What is really funny though, is once Aadi and I were watching this really dumb movie about super hero kids in some super hero school.... and the main villain has this gun which when she shoots at people they turn into babies!! super dumb I know!!

except that I always told Aadi how I would love that gun, so when I felt insane love for him I could just shoot him, make him into a little baby and hold him in my arms!!!!

Looks like I got it!!!

More than the looks, i'm sure he'll be just like his daddy as a person.... warm, gentle, sweet, sexy, funny, cocky and still nice... oh so nice!!!

Photo Studio 09

He ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! 

So exhausted....

Some days are just plain exhausting...

The last two weeks for me have been mad to say the least. 

From hand making invites to planning and setting up a two day exhibition, to being there selling for two days.. Then to pack up...

All along with Sid's diaper changing, feeds, sleeping routines.... Even though I had a lot of help from home... It was still mad...

I knew working and looking after the baby would be tough... But what I didn't count on was everyone including me to fall sick :( that part was just super tough. 

Most often, what I realised was that it wasn't always just the chores that would get difficult, it was entertaining him... Having that up beat fun energy to get him to smile, or to simply engage him in a toy... Then feeding him... That takes a whole lot of energy too... By the last few bites he is done.. He'll literally start jumping off the bouncer when he doesn't want no more... Keeping him there and getting him to finish is crazy... I have to sing or make funny sounds or play lenka on Aadi's phone... 

But more than anything... Putting him to sleep on days that I'm tired are just like getting to the edge of the cliff... And if for any reason he decides to start crying in my ear... Well that's the thing to drive me off the cliff!!! 

Oh my god.... In my head I just want to run away.... And just keep running..... 

Then I calm down... Which calms him down... Then I sing softly... Which actually calms me down further... He starts putting his head on my shoulder... His eyes droop.. And finally he passes out.. And I lay him down on his bed.. Take a deep breath, tell him I love him... 

And go... To clean my room, put away my clothes, write my blog.... Still a hundred things to do... So exhausted.... 

But that's life... And it's a choice I have made... So I gotta keep on going!! 

Photo Studio 08

And there's nothing you can do about it!! 

At six months...

Ten things I love about bumling!

Waking up to him in bed... Just seeing him rolling in bed next to you is such a surreal but amazing feeling!!!

Watching him play alone with his bed mobile...so sweet and quiet! 

The way he knocks out mid meal... His eyes just start drooping!! I have to keep knocking on his milk bottle to get him to finish!!

The way he jumps out of his skin when someone sneezes or coughs loudly!! His whole tiny body shakes and his eyes become super round!!! 

When he shakes his rattle and gets excited about it!

When I check if he's hungry and i put my finger in his mouth, if he is hungry the way he starts biting my finger like a little piranha!!!!

The adorable "where did you leave me and go" pout he gives me when I come from somewhere after a while! It's a half smile half pout!!! 

The way he eats his toes!!  

The way his eyes light up when we play lenka for him... He loves her!!!

How he alreadynot only knows his toy box... But hits it and pushes it till the lid comes off and then up turns it so all his toys come out... At six months mind you... 

Half a year I have had this little tiny being with me... And in that much he has seriously changed my life!! 

He has made me push so many of my boundaries and limits... He has made me feel a love that is so intense, so deep and so so magical I never knew I could feel it... And this after having some pretty intense and deep love for Aadi... But the depths with bumling... That's just another level all together......

Being unwell :(

The last few days have been extremely difficult for me to write... 

I've started work... But the reason things have been difficult isn't because I don't have the time... It's because of the emotional roller coaster I have found myself on. 

So deciding to work in itself was a process and a half. I always knew I would want to work post the baby... But I hadn't thought about how soon I would want to get back. 

Not negatively, but Jaipur being a slightly slower town, I always had a lot of time on my hands here, even post the baby with so much support from home, I seemed to have enough time to do things. So rather than just blogging (!!!!!) I decided that Sid being six months was a good age for me to start. 

I know mums who started work when their bumlings were just three months old, so six months was easy for me to convince myself!! 

So I started off in great spirits all positive and looking forward to some good ol' hard work... Aadi and I lined up a bunch of meetings with people, Mom and Dad were only too happy to have bumling to themselves!! 

And bam!

Fever.. 99... 100....101... 

Cranky restless and all in all irritated... He wouldn't stay with anyone, wanted me to feed him, would stop crying only when I took him in my arms...

Now while these are great emotional boosters for a new mom... It can be quite another emotional downer for someone who is working... 

And not because being with him was taking up my work time, nope it was just mentally exhausting... 

Not only did I have an event planned for which I had to personally call fifty women I had to handmake thirty cards, but I was just so so so worried about Sid. 

First illnesses are always stressful I'm sure. Seeing your baby, your little life, not smiling but being all grumpy and pouty is tough. 

We took him to his doc, got some medicines. The fever went down for a day and a half, everyone was relieved, and then it came back with a vengeance. 

Our usual peadiatrician was out, we called every other doctor we knew. They all said to wait it out. But how....? 

Also, while he had started sleeping thru the night these days,now he was waking up often and that too slightly cranky... Oh God!! 

When we finally saw another doctor, who turned out to be aadis's peadiatrician, he told us to take a test for dengue.

That was it.... That blood test was just the worst thing in the world. Sid had knocked off just before they got the needle, and I tried waking him before they could prick up, but you know how these guys are... They are pricking ten people every twenty minutes, they had no time to be concerned... 

I damn near cried hearing him wail... Poor Aadi, I think he was about to punch the guy with the needle after a point...

The test was negative,but it was seriously the most difficult five days I have been thru. 

I know virals are in the air, fevers come and go.. Colds and coughs are common... But when you're little tiny lifeline has it.. It becomes an end of the world drama!!! 

Ha ha!! 

He's better now...he got better literally the day after the test!!! The funniest would be that he would be super cranky at home, but in front of the doctors he kept smiling and laughing... I'm sure the docs thought Aadi and I were one of those super paranoid parents!! 

But I guess all new parents are super paranoid right?