Talking about adult stuff!

I recently met an acquaintance, let's caller her M, who is also a mum at a Christmas party... It's been a while since we've met.. She has a toddler boy and a 5 year old daughter... 

I was there, with my pudding of course and there was another couple from my side with a kid and from her side with multiple kids... 

All was good and we all got talking while the kids were playing.. 

We caught up on the whole introductions bit .. How we all know each other and common friends and stuff.. And casually the conversation drifted to kids schools.. 

Now most of us had atleast one kid that was roughly the same age and the rest were a few years up and down.. 

School and admissions as most parents are aware is a major topic of discussion... 

We spoke about it for about ten minutes when M suddenly goes... 

" hey can we not talk about schools and admission processes.. Can we talk about something other than the kids?" 

Hmmmm.. Ok.. A little awkward but everyone agrees and we start talking about movies and film gossip... But at some point the conversation goes to the best kids films that have come out recently and what age is a good age to take the kids to a Theater.. 

So miss M once again cuts everyone short and says " can't we just have an adult conversation or does it always have to veer back to something kid oriented?" 

Now everyone was clearly awkward, because yes, sure we would all like to talk about things apart from our kids, have 'adult' conversations.. But has that ever really happened? 

I mean once you're a mum.. Or a parent .. It's just inevitable.. Natural.. A no brainer really... 

You could be taking about quantum physics and a mum can bring her kid into that conversation... 

It's not like we mean to or want to.. It's not like the baby is really the only thing on our mind.. Ok yes in a way they are.. But to be honest for me atleast.. Anytime I find an opportunity to learn something about something that will help me better, or make easier, my parenting life.. I'll take it.. 

What was really odd was that that's the kind of reaction I expect from a non parent.... I also understand that reaction at a bar or dinner place where the kids aren't there.... But at a kids party.. Very tough! 

Once you're a pattern somewhere you got to admit to yourself that almost 90% of your time and conversations and reading and googling will revolve around something to do with your kids... And that that's ok...! 

Some fun calculations!!

It's been 1011 days today since I had siddy ...  And I just thought about this: 

I must have kissed him around 50550 since he was born keeping 50 kisses a day as an average! 

And 45495 hugs at 45 hugs a day as an average!!  

Been upset with him atleast for 1/4 the time so that's around 252 days... 

Smiled in the day because of him at least 15165 times with around 15 times a day average! 

Laughed with him around the same.... If not more.... 

That's also like 24264 hours with him!! 8088 he's asleep, 3033 he's eating ( an hour a meal 3 meals!!) 

200 days a year in school...  500 days in 2 and a half years that's 1500 hours gone there... 

That leave us with 12000 hours together since he was born!!!! 

Point is I've had this pudding driving me nuts in my life for so long now that I've started doing fun crazy math!!! 

My to do list!!!

1 start designs for client three 

2. Mail client one's designs 

3. Go to printer 

4. Go to laser cuter.. 

5. Get methi

6. Get DIAPERS TODAY

7. Fix leaking tap in loo 

8. Buy hand wash... Scratch that .. Use the refill pack you got last time

9. Make sure Aadi's shirts are ironed. 

10. Clean my cupboard

11. Find the glitter paper we got last month. 

12. Call client one to confirm return gift bag size. 

13. Tell cook to make beet paranthas for siddy 

14. Get rid of his broken cars- discreetly! 

15. Change bedsheets. 

16. Make tomorrow's list!!! 

Dear "stop writing your blog" mom!!

So there is a blogger I follow on facebook... I never really end up reading her blog any more.. Because just the short write up she has to her blog on facebook is starting to tick me off...

Every single blog is about a tired mother, an exhausted mother, a sad mother, a mother who is fed up a mother who just can't handle it anymore... She writes in this open letter format so its always " Dear tired Mom" or " Dear fed up mom"

Its been a while since i've seen a single post of hers saying " Dear Mom who figured out that there is more to being exhausted" or " Dear mom of the kid who is so affectionate or well behaved and good job to you"

Mother hood is an exhausting experience there is no getting away from it...

There is no kind of mum who isn't tired... stay at homes, work from homes, working moms... all of us are tired and fed up and crave for "me " time all the time... but hello... did you start your blog to encourage other women or discourage them from ever having kids?

Dude.. no matter what you do and how well you balance and how much help you have or don't.. once you've had your bumling its all madness down that road... but its really also so full of happiness and affection and love and warm hugs that the exhaustion will just disappear...

Thats what you should be telling the mums i think... about how post it all you get to curl up next to this little beautiful thing you created that will hug you like you are the whole world... and that gooey fuzzy heart wrenching feeling is really all that will matter...

I don't believe that you must have kids... I think if you don't want any you just shouldn't have any... but if you ask me for my opinion.. I would say have at least the one... just to experience true magic...

and while you will read blogs like the above mentioned one... don't get overwhelmed by them... don't take them at face value... each mother child journey is different.. and while i do too feel tired like hell at the end of the day... i really really don't think that would be my description to motherhood...

but don't also think its all a bed of roses because it isn't... the roughness and toughness is there... but its just one layer... the rest of the layers are pretty fun!

Sorry for the rant... just tired of moms who write blogs just to tell people how much "Work" it is to have kids!!! Also if i was a ruder person I would have written this to her... but i'm not.. i'll simply unfollow her and move on!!!!!

Driving skills....

So we're in the car and my brother in law is driving... And he asks, very sure of the answer 

" Siddy, who is the best driver in the world?" 

Our man is thinking ...thinking ... And says 

"Papa is the best driver in the world!" 

Ok then!!! 

"Papa is the cutest driver in the world" 

Fine I agree with that... He really is the cutest ... But what really got me was the next thing he said.... 

"Papa doesn't honk... Only Mumma and Neneh honk while driving" 

Seriously... Observation skills of a two and a half year old...seriously?!!!! 

The Reason to have a Baby!

It's time to pick a college... you pick a college...

Its time to get a job... you get a job...

Its time to get married.... you get married....

Its time to have a baby.... you don't have a baby....

Never ever ever have a baby because its the obvious next step.... no way.... its the absolute last reason to have a baby... no wait... I take that back... the absolute last reason to have a baby is if your marriage is on the rocks....

But next to that.... just because its time or its the next step in a marriage...NOPE... don't do it...

A kid... a baby is a part of you... its a part of your partner... its something you two create together in a moment of sheer love.... its magic.... its knowing that you have made this one beautiful little thing that belongs only to you... that will be yours no matter what happens in this world... something that will look at you and see his whole world... that will run to you for love, protection validation... everything... its having something that no one else has because its your own unique little combination...

and to be able to see that everyday day in and day out... to be able to hug and kiss that little thing is the only reason to have him... to know what unconditional love is... not to complete or tick mark the next thing in your life...

The only thing you need to know before you have a kid!

The only thing I really wish I had known before I had a kid... Was just how much you could possibly love something... 

I mean seriously.. It's no rocket science that babies give you sleepless nights, dark circles breaking backs... Takes away your social life almost completely ya di da di da.... 

But just the sight of that little face scrunched up in pain or a single (almost always fake) tear rolling down that soft cheek would wreck your heart ... Why does no one tell you that? 

Recently I've been reading all these posts " ten things I wish someone had told me before I had my baby" " fifty things to know before your baby comes" 

Hello...

There is seriously nothing anyone can say that can prepare you for that kind of love that just takes over all your senses!! 

The rest... The practical things are just that.. Practical things...  

How to sleep your baby, wrap your baby wean your baby... How to keep your toddler active all day or how to keep in quite at "quite time" ...

Every kid is different.. What works for one will not work for another... Trust me... Some babies will sleep thru the night some just won't... Some are happy with one toy some have ADD at one!!! 

You learn on the job... You figure it out... Sure a few guidelines are always good... But stick to the basics.. The absolute necessities... 

Because everyday new types of parenting are introduced... And each one is just some persons way to doing it really..

So my two bits- the only thing you need to k ow before you have a baby.. Is to know that from that moment on of holding that little thing in your arms is the moment you will feel infinite happiness and infinite feelings of protection and love towards that tiny tot... And nothing can ever make you feel like that again.... 

So have one only if you are prepared to feel that kind of intense feeling!!