Man I made this!!!!

I'm pretty sure this happens to all mums at some point or another.

When your kid is sitting next to you or lying down next to you, sleeping even, and you're enjoying this really nice quiet (rare) moment and you look at your kid and think "Man, I made this"

I had this little thing in my tummy a few years ago. His teeny tiny little fingers and toes grew in my tummy. I used to talk to him while he was there... and he would respond with little kicks and punches. And I would feel him move and roll over in there. He was actually a part of my body once.

And now here he is, with this soft soft cheeks, strawberry like pout, eyelashes so long and beautiful.

And you look at every little part of his face, every dot every scratch every pore on his skin amazed.

You study every tiny detail of your baby because you realize he wont be this little baby anymore.

And then your mind will start wandering to his future.

What kind of person will he be? Will be sweet and kind? Will he be a bully? You hope not, you promise yourself you will teach him better.

What kind of friends will he make? Will he try drugs at some point (of course he will but hopefully not to soon and also hopefully in a controlled environment... because yes, you can plan these things!) Will he sneak out of his the house to meet them? Will he race cars with these friends (will you ever sleep peacefully again?!!)? Will he travel with them and have great adventures?

What will his first heartbreak be like?Will he come to you to talk about it? Will he put his head in your lap while he cries because you still comfort him? Will you like his girlfriend? haha... no way already know the answer to that.

What will he study? Will he be more studious than you? Will he be creative? Will you have to fight him to get some kind of degree before he goes off starting bands and playing in clubs? Will you'll have fights over this? Will you'll have fights over his phone bills that you will refuse to pay after he's 20? (18?!!!)

Will he be a typical teenager? Or will he continue to be the sweet kid he is today?

And somedays I think the worst. I think what if these normal everyday things aren't the only thing he experiences?

What if he has to see a war? What if the world goes south and things get bad? I see the world as it is today and it freaks me out so much. I wonder what kind of a future we will be bringing him up in.

I look at his soft cheeks and peaceful eyes, I look at his little hands in my hands... and I wonder... what will his life be like?

And I know one thing for sure.... I will do anything it takes to keep him protected and smiling!

Because be it today tomorrow or 20 years down... he will always and forever be this soft sweet adorable baby of mine.