And we just crossed that.
Siddy is 5. He eats on his own (as in he can, he just loves being fed) he can shower on his own, pick his own clothes and change, tie his shoe laces.... he's a BIG boy.
So we thought this is a good time to leave him in Jaipur. We went to drop him, stayed for a few days.
Two days before we were to leave we started telling him "Siddy mumma papa are going back to bombay and you'll be here with Dadu Dadi. Will you be ok?"
And each time he would happily say "yes!"
We were happy as we had to get back to bombay to settle into our new home.
The day we left we had an 8:00 flight and had to leave home at 6:00. This munchkin wakes me up at 5:00 and says " Mumma, please don't leave me and go. Please take me with you" all in his sleep of course!
*insert sound of my heart breaking*
From then till I got back to Bombay my heart just kept breaking. What was I doing? How could I just leave my little baby? What if he misses me like crazy and can't stay without me?
By the time I get to Bombay he's woken up and already having fun in Jaipur. And he continued to have fun for the next ten days.
While I, in the middle of setting up home, missed him insanely. Even if he did ever miss me, my sweet ma in law never told me... because she knew my heart was already breaking,
And the entire family took it up on themselves to make sure Siddy had the time of his life. Everyday it was about doing something fun! To the point where he would wake up in the morning asking what the plan for the day was!
We even spoke a couple of times... me with a plug in my heart to stop it from bleeding and him- well and him super distracted and desperately wanting to hang up.
Finally the day arrives when he is to come back. The Hubby has gone to Jaipur to bring his cute bum back to me... and all morning I'm sitting ... just going crazy. Really really crazy.... like watching old videos of him kind of crazy! Old like when he was a little new born baby kind of old!
And of course the flight is delayed. By almost three hours. Can you imagine those three hours for me. Pure torture. Because I had cleared up the whole day for him... finished all my work so that when he comes all I would do is hug him.
Finally finally finally they reach home. And this cutie walks in and walks around the house. Well its a new house... he's excited. He goes off to every room saying how much he loves it and how happy he is... all this while completely ignoring me.
When I eventually asked him for a hug... it was one of those half there but not really hugs and my heart just broke.
He hadn't missed me. Not one bit.
This chitkoo of a thing that could't spend a second without me... who would be stuck to me and sleep on me now didn't care.
I cried for two nights because for the next few days he acted like nothing had happened. I actually felt like one of those silly girls whose boyfriends have broken up with them but they still hang out and she can't handle this new "just friends" thing.
Stupid I know... but it really was how I felt. To the point that I complained to my best friend that he doesn't love me anymore.
That my son doesn't love me anymore... how insecure can someone be?!
I actually started doing less with him.. got his dad to take over things I would normally do.
Till two days later when I was watching tv and he just came and snuggled next to me.. No words no nothing... just sat there with his head on my arm, his legs on my knees and watched TV with me.
I swear I froze a bit to not break that moment!!
And thats it... we were in love again!
I honestly thought that this ignoring me bit would happen at 13... so was kinda shocked to see it at five...
But I guess maybe, that was his coping mechanism? Out of sight out of mind.
Of course since then we are back to our usual love hate relationship that Aadi always makes fun of... because literally one instant we are kissing and the next we are arguing...!
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