So today I crushed my little one's heart.
His actual words were " Im disappointed with what you just told me"
But lets back up a little so you get the whole story before you send me hate mail!
Lately this four year old has been driving us all up the wall. He's suddenly become this slightly aggro kid who doesn't listen, fights back, talks back, leaves the room upset mid conversation.
He comes back from school at one thirty, hasn't finished his snack box, and refuses to sit and eat lunch. Now he's starving and tired but he just wont eat. We will tell him nicely, we will be stern, we will threaten and finally we will get pissed... but he still wont eat. And then he gets upset with us for shouting. And he leaves the room saying
"If you're going to shout at me I wont eat" "If you don't give me the I pad I wont eat"
Yup... he actually gives us lip- this four year old three foot nothing.
And this situation is for everything- taking a bath, putting his toys away, changing his clothes even going down to play on somedays.
He's just become super stubborn. No this isn't me building up my excuse for 'disappointing' my kid.. its the truth!
We'll been trying to handle this with everything we've got. Time outs, taking toys away, taking his precious I pad away, making a good boy bad boy chart. Nothing seems to be working.
Now we can deal with all the sass, all the stamping of the feet, all the pouting and leaving the room, but we can not accept hitting.
And thats what happened today.
He, in one of his moments, hit his nanny.
Now since it was his first time ever. We all very sternly told him it was unacceptable, made him apologize and also didn't let him go down to play,
Till he did it again. To me.
Because I insisted he put his toys away at night and he refused, after telling him repeatedly he still refused, so I threatened that I wouldn't read a book at bed time. He still refused. And he also started crying hysterically as if I had asked him to clean up the whole house with a tooth brush.
And in his anger, he punched me on my arm and said "If you don't read me a book I wont put my toys away"
Thats it I lost it. I packed up my stuff for the night and took him into the bedroom.
He totally knew he had done something very wrong.
Now I have this sleepy baby crying away asking me to say sorry to him for shouting, which I really hadn't, and I was really upset about the punch. Still I decided to sit calmly and explain to him what he had done wrong.
"Baby, have I ever hit you? no matter how angry I am, have I ever actually hit you? would you like it if someone hit you? Its a very bad thing to do. No one likes children who hit"
He's sitting in my lap listening to me through his tears.
And I don't know what got into me and I said:
"You know right that Santa doesn't give presents to children who hit?"
The tears stopped.
"Santa wont give me a present?"
"Only if you hit anybody baby. If you're a good boy of course he will give you presents. So you promise not to hit?"
"How will he know?"
"Magic. His magical little elves are all over the world watching children and they write in their little books if a baby is naughty"
"Why cant we see them?"
"They are invisible baby"
"So you wont hit anybody now baby?"
"No mumma" (the quietest voice in the world)
"Are we friends now?"
So I kiss him and push off to get the beds ready to sleep.
Except I see him, and he's looking really really low and he's walking out the door.
"Where are you going baby?"
And thats when he said it
"Im disappointed with what you just told me"
"Why baby? What did I say"
"That Santa wont give me presents"
Damn. My heart just crushed and broke into a bazillion pieces.
I picked him and hugged him and kissed him.
"Of course he will give you presents baby, because I know you're going to be such a good boy"
"But what if the elves don't think so?"
By now I was feeling really bad that I said what I had said
"Baby I will go to North Pole myself and make Santa give you the best present ever.. tell me what you want and I'll make sure you get it"
His tears stopped and he smiled a very tiny smile.
"I don't know yet what I want mumma, but I'll think and tell you"
I gave him a big bear hug and told him he can tell me anytime and I would make sure Santa gives him his present.
I actually even apologized to him for saying something so harsh, and told him I had done it only to make him understand how bad hitting was.
Finally after it all he gave me a big hug and we read a book together and I kissed him to sleep.
Its crazy, how ever much he may be growing up, becoming a big boy with his own personality and becoming his own person... He is still a little baby who believes in Santa!
So Santa, are you listening, we owe this kid an awesome present!!!